May the road rise with you...

So we're into the final week left for training: of course the obvious thing to do is to cycle down to Manchester to see John Lydon's first love (outside of himself, obviously), namely his band PiL, play at the ironically named 'Ritz'.

It's a beautiful sight...the light reflecting off those balding pates. I'm keeping very quiet...

Aside from seeing a tight and committed band play, there was an exercise benefit in the 90-mile round trip. Although not as big a pay-off as I might previously have thought: my interest in other folks' training methods was piqued after reading a post in the Haute Route online forum and it seems that instead of riding longish and steady rides I should have spent more time attempting 'intervals'.

This is where you basically alternate short sessions of caning it with periods of slow recovery, the theory being that it brings the greatest benefit in the shortest time-frame. Well, that's my training plan for the remaining few days sorted at any rate. If all this sounds a little too much like me getting my excuses in before we start, well done you for rumbling me!

At last I've found something slower uphill than me. Hail, Centurion!

Speaking of which, I thought that I should outline my targets for these 11 days. Well, we'll worry about the first 6 days to begin with, in ascending order of difficulty/unlikelihood:

1) To finish each day

2) To finish each day inside the cut-off time limit

3) To finish in 599th place or better

4) To either pull a wheelie and/or do Usain-style press-ups immediately after crossing the finish line...any finish line!

And of course it goes without saying that I'd better enjoy it all regardless, drink in the scenery'n'beer and generally have a laugh. Now that I can do...

How about this for an opening day shoeing...a maximum gradient of 13%? Wish I had done some intervals...

"Going up the Romme was a massive surprise I can't believe they have put that in as the very first climb on the HR, the approach is on a flat road but the only way to describe what you're looking at is a wall of tarmac approaching and it really does kick at 13% immediately. Crazy climb- the most relief you get is around 6% just over half way up then as per usual out here it just goes and kicks again and again before the top."

Oh dear...that was from some bloke who has just ridden the first climb we do next Sunday, the Col de Romme.

Courtesy of Steve 'schmatter' Moran, here is a clever link which leads you up that 'orrible first climb, the  Col de Romme. Don't think that I'll be getting up quite as quick though.

Although I hate banging on about it, here are the stats again:

- We climb 120,000 feet over the 11 days. That is more than the 2012 Tour de France will climb in 21 days!

-  In 11 days we cycle over 330 uphill miles at an average 8% gradient: that's the same distance as London to Glasgow!

- To put some perspective on all this, Mount Everest stands at 29000 feet. On day 3 we climb 15000 feet. Eh, hang on...

For every £500 raised I will donate £100. Thank you!

The sponsorship is coming along and I really am hand-wringingly grateful for every single donation: we're at £1700 for Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research and £800 for the North West Air Ambulance. I know that there is still more to come...

All Or Nothing

Today marks a few things: the end of the Tour de France with enormous British success, as well as four weeks until having hopefully finished the first day of my own version of Le Tour and it is also two years since our friend Linda Wright passed away  because of cancer. Wrighty is gone but still remembered...

Bradley Wiggins was assured of victory today so it made some kind of sense to pay a tribute to him by checking out the mural of the man himself on the wall of one of his local pubs (makes him sound like a dipso) in his adopted town of Ecclestone in sunny Lancashire.



Oh no- the 'Visit Lancashire' tourist shots have begun!


On the way there I accidentally gate-crashed about 10 miles of an IronMan UK triathlon: definitely a Gump/Zelig moment, hah-hah! To be fair, they were riding on closed roads that led right past the pub that I was headed to, so...
Mind you, I got some filthy looks from a few competitors as I passed them, complete with panniers and mudguards. Cue a Nelson Muntz style "Ha ha!".



Those knee-length socks do look a bit warm. Ha-ha!



At the pub I asked a photographer Johnny to take a cheesy photo for this blog and it turns out that he was covering the IronMan event for 'The Sun' redtop-rag. despite hailing from Liverpool. Go figure...



Wiggo! I salute you. With Coca-Cola. And a 'Sun' photographer from Liverpool. My top firmly kept on. Mercy!



In other news: I seem to be ahead of the game training-wise because I have got my 'tapering' (when proper athletes wind-down their efforts prior to the big event) out of the way early-doors. This was achieved by spending a couple of days at The Open and also visiting health-conscious Dublin to see two brilliant back-to-back Springsteen shows.

So, it is back to the bike, and on the bike I stay for the forseeable. Oh hang on, courtesy of m'learned colleague Ms. Hewitt I get to see Cav tear along The Mall next Saturday to hopefully win the bloke's road race for Team GB. As you may have seen earlier today the fellow is blessed with a respectable turn of pace, no?

One other item of nonsense that I should bring to your attention is that a certain Alain 'Le Professeur' Prost ex-F1 World Champion has also signed-up for the Haute Route which forms the first six days of my challenge. Apparently the 53 year old is not only blessed with a big hooter but is a cycling fanatic and is as fit as le fiddle. He would be...

Wonder if I should steer him into a hay bale and say that's from Senna? Probably not.

Seeing as how me and my new best mate Prosty will be cycling up some frankly stupidly long and steep bits of tarmac I reckoned it might be an idea to lower my gearing even further: I offer praise to the boffins at Shimano for making a 12T-30T cassette. Seriously chaps, you're getting a Christmas card this year. Shinto or not, it's the least I can do.

As clean as that cassette'n'chain will ever be. Agent 30/30 rides!

One final word of thanks to people who haven't hesitated in sponsoring me again: cliche or not, it makes all this worth it and is a terrific motivation.
What I didn't expect was backing from overseas folks: how about the U.S.A. and Ukraine? Just brilliant behaviour. Thank you Natalia, Marge and two alumni from last year's trip, namely Lee and Chris C.. Cheers!

                            Wiggo, you have taste. And enormous sideys.

Although I hate banging on about it, here are the stats again:

- We climb 120,000 feet over the 11 days. That is more than the 2012 Tour de France will climb in 21 days!

-  In 11 days we cycle over 330 uphill miles at an average 8% gradient: that's the same distance as London to Glasgow!

- To put some perspective on all this, Mount Everest stands at 29000 feet. On day 3 we climb 15000 feet. Eh, hang on...

For every £500 raised I will donate £100. Thank you!

The er, Magnificent Seven? Hell yeah!

If you have suffered any of this blog so far, you might have picked up on the fact that the first six days of the adventure run from Geneva to Nice and take the form of a race, for want of a better word. Actually, that better word is 'nightmare', but more on that later.

The organisers want all the 500 entrants to form themselves into teams of between three and nine members (yeah, you got that bit right...) and to come up with a team name as well, so of course me and Andy decided to stick together and we invited other Haute Route entrants to join our newly-minted 'Team Lanterne Rouge' with three guiding principles in mind:

1) trying hard

2) socialising a bit, and

3) not troubling the podium

Much to our surprise there are actually five other like-minded souls out there, so Team Lanterne Rouge a.k.a. The Magnificent Seven is a go: welcome aboard to AndyF, Martin, David, Mark and Matt! As far as I know we are 71.4% Carling, 14.28% Fosters and 14.28% Guinness.
The only downside is that I've been volunteered to get the first round in Geneva, which ain't renowned for it's budget shopping...

In other news, last Sunday saw me wheeze around bits of North Yorkshire for a laugh in search of the slowest century since Chris Tavare retired.

Almost perfected the 'Richard Nixon victory hunch'. Was sweating almost as much too...

Don't be fooled by the Pavlov reaction to the sight of a camera: it was f**king miserable out there, hah-hah-hah! Still glad I did it. The realisation that the serious stuff is only 40-odd days away has dawned so there will be more of the same this weekend and every other for the forseeable. About time...

Sponsorship is slow and difficult to come by but I've had a couple of donations from folk who have first-hand experience of the life-changing, no, life-saving work that Leukaemia And Lymphoma Research are responsible for: this just reinforces what a fantastic cause they are. If you agree then click on the link, please.

For every £500 raised, I will cough-up £100: go on and cause me some financial heartache!

Still, it's not all training (what do you mean 'all'? Any would be a start...) as I have managed to fit in a couple of shows into my packed training schedule, ahem. Top of the list would be an up-and-comer called Springsteen: do look out for him. I saw him a couple of weeks back at The Etihad on that Friday when it dumped crazy amounts of rain and was blowing a hooley just for good measure.

In the event our man delivers what was perhaps one of his top three U.K. shows: the band were just astounding at times. For no good reason I had a go at filming what turned out to be the last song in the 3hr 20 min show: it is worth a watch if only to see the flying trumpeter just about the one minute-mark. Gladly Curt didn't need the North West Air Ambulance (ouch, that was subtle) but we can all help to keep them responding...

Although I hate banging on about it, here are the stats again:

- We climb 120,000 feet over the 11 days. That is more than the 2012 Tour de France will climb in 21 days!

-  In 11 days we cycle over 330 uphill miles at an average 8% gradient: that's the same distance as London to Glasgow!

- To put some perspective on all this, Mount Everest stands at 29000 feet. On day 3 we climb 15000 feet. 

Right, that'll have to do for now...

Over The Hill

Exactly eight weeks until the off and I eventually get around to riding my second 100-miler of 2012...this time last year I had done over 40 of them. Think it would be safe to say that a bit of fear, if not actual panic has set in, hah-hah-hah!

Yesterday's century was the 'Spud Riley 100/ Polkadot Challenge': an event that I haven't ridden before but whoever planned the route deserves a pint and a pat on the back- it was fantastic for the most part...excepting the first wet'n'miserable 15 miles, but I dare say ordering up the weather is a tall order.



The route of the 'Spud Riley Memorial 100'


I was (almost) keen to ride this event because it features just over 10000' of climbing over the century of miles, so it meets my rule of thumb: if you are gaining 1000' for every 10 miles you will know about it!

The other reason was that it is organised by a local cycling club on a non-profit basis so that 50% of your entrance fee goes to Christies Hospital in order to honour the memory of 'Spud' Riley, who gave a lot to cycling in the North West.
This guy was also a craftsman in building and joinery he was given the job of recruiting and overseeing the labour for the construction of the Manchester Velodrome. Blimey!
I'm sorry to say that Mr. Riley succumbed to Leukaemia, hence the memorial nature of this annual event which has so far raised close to £100000 for Christies.

Plus the event started (and finished) about 200 yards from BAE Woodford aka  The Artist Formerly Known As The Centre of Excellence, ahem). Quite what that has to do with anything is anyone's guess, to be fair.

The other unfortunate coincidence charity-wise happened after about 35 miles or so. On exiting from a T junction a cyclist was struck by a motorbike which broke his bicycle in half and sent the guy 20 feet up and the biker also went skidding down the road.
I rode past the scene about 10 minutes after it happened and it was pretty grim with all three emergency services attending. About 5 minutes later I looked across the valley to see the Air Ambulance finding a spot to land. No word on either party as yet, but the quick response of the helicopter and it's crew can only have helped.
**Update here: both parties airlifted to different hospitals...serious condition**

If you can spare a couple of quid to help fight leukaemia please click this link, or to help the North West Air Ambulance to keep saving lives then this is where you should look!

Although it pains me to type it, for every £500 raised I will put in £100...

Looks like Bailey can rest easy...


Find me a prettier route. Go on then!



Not likely. It was a tad chilly.

 


















MR2 knob-head fumes
whilst dinner is herded.
I was glad of the 15 minute break.
'Haw-haw!'

Find me a drier route. Go on then!







Move along...nothing to see here...

 



 A bit of timber to shift yet. Small copse, more like. 

                                         'Over The Hill' - Edwyn Collins

Sharp Dressed Man!

Behold Team Lanterne Rouge's jersey what we designed like, ourselves. It is what this season's best-dressed cyclist is wearing, natch...
Took 5 minutes an' all! Nah, thanks to Steve Moran (another Haute Route eejit: see Steve's company Pente 14) for this.

So where did our Team Lanterne Rouge moniker come from?

The name is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the red lanterns which were once hung from the rear of French trains. The Lanterne Rouge often struggles to finish the more challenging stages of the race, pushing himself up steep mountain climbs alone in order to stay within the elimination time for the stage. So it is reckoned that The Lanterne Rouge symbolizes perseverance in the face of adversity. Or something.

Anyway, this gives me flimsiest of excuses for posting this splendid cover version which I never tire of watching: now this drummer can play a bit...simply amazing!

                          

Here are those sponsorship links again:

to help Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research click here!

to keep the North West Air Ambulance flying please click here!

Good work.

Well you got to start somewhere, haven't you?

Hello, good evening and welcome to 2012's attempt at setting back the art of blogging by 10 years and hopefully raising some money for two supremely worthwhile charities into the bargain!

It is a diet...just not a good one.

Champion training regime...

The plan is a simple one: to cycle the eleven worst days of the Tour de France.
I didn't say it was easy, just simple.
On Sunday 19th August, myself and 498 of my closest friends (and Andy Wickham, whose bright idea this was) will ride in the 2012 Haute Route start cycling from Geneva  and hopefully all end-up in beautiful downtown Nice on the following Saturday having a deserved beer or two, having covered 500 miles and climbed 70000'! Of course, that is only the first half done...

The first six days mapped out for the washed-up!

After a celebration of sorts in Nice, Andy and myself will drive 500 miles to somewhere near to The Atlantic Ocean in the Western Pyrenees and then spend the following five days tackling the famous Pyrenean climbs of the Tour de France, eventually finishing not too far from The Mediterranean Sea. This stage will involve more modest mileages and climbing: about 400 miles and 50000'...only. So that's alright then.

To be fair to A.W. (seen below pitching the idea to me last September), it sort of made sense, probably due to all that Becks but also because after last year's jaunt across the U.S.A. there was nowhere reasonably to go but...up. So this challenge does have a weird logic to it, although I doubt I'll be quite so sanguine about the venture come August 19th...

With my cycling partner-in-crime, Andy Wickham.
"Why that's another fine mess you got me into..."

Now to the serious stuff: the fundraising will follow the tested idea of supporting one national and one regional charity. The regional good cause is one that we supported three years ago but they are always desperate for any help- it is the North West Air Ambulance and the link to follow to sponsor me and donate to them is HERE!

For every £500 raised, I will cough-up £100: go on and cause me some financial heartache!

These guys are life-savers for real. And need donations to keep doing it.

The national charity is the Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research organisation and their purpose is to beat blood cancers. I cannot imagine two more chilling words than those, to be honest. Their mission sounds simple- I wish it was! Their life-saving research is focused on finding causes, improving diagnosis and treatments, and running ground-breaking clinical trials for all blood cancer patients.

If this moves you, then the link to sponsor me and donate to L.L.R. is THIS ONE!

Once again, for every £500 raised, I will cough-up £100: go on and cause me some financial heartache!

                                    

The challenge for me is way, way worse than the 33 days behind bars of a year ago. Anyone who has followed the Tour de France or suffered a coach transfer to a ski resort will know just how bloody long and unrelenting these climbs are. Names like Alpe d'Huez, D'Aubisque, Tormalet, Hautacam, Luz-Ardiden are enough to raise a sweat without even leaving your seat!

With ex-England, Crystal Palace midfielder, Leukaemia survivor and tireless worker for L.L.R., Mr. Geoff Thomas

If you want some numbers, here you go...

 - We climb 120,000 feet over the 11 days. That is more than the pussies in the 2012 Tour de France will climb in 21 days!

- In 11 days we cycle over 330 uphill miles at an average 8% gradient: that's the same distance as London to Glasgow!

- To put some perspective on all this, Mount Everest stands at 29000 feet, and a mile is 5280 feet.
That's not the worst of it either: the Alpine 'jaunt' runs from Geneva and ends in Nice six days later and is timed with a cut-off point for those beer'n'pie-loving tourists amongst us. Em, is it me or is it warm in here?

Actually, it does get worse again: there will be an online facility for you good people to track and scoff at my (lack of) progress during those six awful days. Joking aside, my goal is just to complete the Haute Route: if I manage to finish 499th out of 500 then that is a bonus, if not an unlikely miracle!

After collapsing in Nice and being revived by an ice cold 1664 or similar, we then drive over 500 miles on the 'rest' day to begin the second bit of this beasting in the Western Pyrenees near The Atlantic, only to end almost at The Mediterranean five days later. Once again, 1664 or similar may well feature...

Basically what we are doing are shortened legs of the worst stages of Le Tour for eleven days. This is no picnic by anyone's standards so please, please see if you are able to make it all worthwhile with a donation: you can do it in person, by post, online or by text. 

Text, did I hear you say? Why yes indeed Sir...
Your text would look something like this:

- For the Air Ambulance text TOTM99 £5 (or any amount that you can spare) and you send it to 70070.
- For L.L.R. text RDMH99 £5 to 70070.

The amount that you kindly donate then is either added to your phone bill or taken off your PAYG balance accordingly. There is no charge for the text and you don't pay VAT on your donation either, and the charity get 100% of your money so it really is win-win.

 ps...don't forget to go for the GiftAid option too!

Once again, for every £500 raised, I will cough-up £100: go on and cause me some financial heartache!

I hope that is all crystal, then. All that remains for me to do in the next 50 days is lose 2 stone, get cycling fit and pester all you good people for your hard-earned...cheers!

I asked the bloke in Halfords for his lightest bike. Smart ass...

                                                  Marvin & Tammi take it/me away!